The Hizzle of T-Fizzle

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04/02/2007:
It was early. 5AM maybe? I don’t remember. It was dark. I showered before going to bed so I could sleep later. Maybe if I can find my ticket stub I can figure out when the train left…suffice it to say that factoring in time to make it from our apartment to Berlin Hauptbahnhof, we had to get up really really early. We had a little breakfast and made our way out to the station via S-Bahn. Berlin Hbf is really nice. Here’s a picture:

If it looks familiar, you probably saw it on Day 2 from atop the Reichstag.

We found our way to our track and waited around for our train. There was a clock on the platform that did a weird hitch every minute. I can’t imagine how it stayed accurate.

European rail travel is interesting. It’s a little more complex than travel in the US since people actually use it and you can actually go places on it for a sensible amount of money. Crazy, I know. Since tracks are shared by multiple carriers and cars can be headed to different destinations, you actually have to make sure you get on the right car because the wrong car might get disconnected from the train before you arrive!

We found our car and stepped inside and looked for our seat numbers. Very shortly we found this:

We had our own compartment! Just like in the movies! And since we had bought the group ticket for 6 people we knew that the 6th seat would remain unoccupied and we wouldn’t have to share it with some creepy or chatty person.

The ride down to Prague takes about 5 hours and you see a lot of scenic countryside and you pass through Dresden. On the way we saw a lot of tiny cottages no bigger than tool sheds on plots of land. We have it on reliable sources that these are basically rentable backyards that urban people can use to get away from the city and spend some time in the garden. It is also reported that there was a set of these a couple blocks from our apartment but we never went by it.

Anyway, we arrived in Nádrazí Holesovice which is one of Prague’s secondary train stations, but it is the one that you go to when you come from north. It was probably 11AM or so. Holesovice is seedy. There are not a whole lot of people around and the few people that are there don’t seem particularly wholesome. I felt leery and it was boad daylight. Interestingly, in researching this post I found an article that says the main train station is actually SEEDIER than Holesovice! Yikes…

Doing our best not to look like complete targets, we attempted to find our way to the public trams. The signs seemed to lead in circles. We did find a way to the subway, so we went and studied the subway map and stared at the antiquated ticket machines. More modern ticketing machines generally speak English or are illustrated with pictograms allowing you to at least pick your way through. These were coin-op. I commented that the subway map looks like it was drawn with a crayon. I held up my pocket map of Berlin’s transit system next to the Prague map. “See?” X and Kate lobbied to just go get taxis. I wondered if maybe we should just cut our losses and buy a ticket on the next train back to Berlin.

Eventually we capitulated and decided that even though it would be more expensive, we might as well just take a taxi and get where we need to go. We proceeded to a taxi stand where we found some guys standing around smoking. We told one guy where we were going and how many people and he called over a couple of other guys. We asked how much (when travelling in places where taxis are not well regulated, always negotiate the price first. Depending on how you feel, you might even want to have the driver write the price down so that he can’t “forget.” Even in places where it’s safe to take taxis, you still might want to get an estimate from the driver before you take off!) and the driver quoted us something in local currency - Czech Crowns or Kurona. It was like 500. It sounded like a lot. Here’s something I don’t like about Prague - the crown is worthless in just the right amount to make it very hard to compare with dollars or Euro. Prices are always in the hundreds of crowns and the numbers are just weird enough that it’s hard to calculate in your head what something would be in the other currencies. This will get better once they fully convert to Euro, but for the time being I get the distinct impression that merchants in touristy areas are charging high prices in crowns hoping people won’t be able to figure it out. In any case, we didn’t have much local currency. We told the drivers we would discuss it and walked away. As we walked away he told us we could also pay in Euro - 20 per car. We went back into the station, huddled up and decided that the 20 Euro didn’t seem too terrible. We went back. I was expecting the driver to say “30 Euro, now!” but when I asked to confirm he said it would be 20.

The ride to the Prague Hilton was uneventful. Driving in Prague seems frightening and crazy, and the hotel seemed a bit out of the way, so taking a taxi seemed a decent idea. We got to the hotel and checked in. It’s a very nice hotel. We dropped our stuff off and explored the lay of the land. X found a desk in the hotel that offered a walking/bus tour of the city. It seemed a little bit expensive, but it also seemed like a convenient and safe way to see all the major sights. After discussing with the group we decided to do this, and booked a tour with them.

We had a little bit of time for lunch, so we sat down in one of the hotel restaurants. There wasn’t a table big enough for all 5 of us, so we sat at a 4-top and pulled a 5th chair over. After a wait of typical European length, a waitress finally came over and asked us if we were ordering food or drinks. We told her food and she said “This table is not for 5 people to order food.” And then walked away! She did not offer to split us up. She did not offer to find us another table. We were not sure if she is going to set something up for us or anything. We waited a few more minutes and she did not return. We were running out of time. Mike and Mary and Kate decided to run upstairs to the club lounge for cool people like Mike who book a lot of Hilton rooms. X and I sat at a 2-top and were finally able to get someone to serve us sandwiches. Again, the bill came back in crowns. The conversion still boggles my mind, but I’m pretty sure it was outrageously expensive…something like $30 for a sandwich and a bowl of soup. I had heard that if they bring bread to your table and you eat it, they also charge for this, but there did not appear to be a charge for the bread. The food was tasty, at least

At the appointed time we went out and met our tour guide who had a nice slavic name like Yaroslav. We had him all to ourselves which was really nice. They took us into the center of the historic district where we walked all around and saw all the historic sights. I don’t remember most of the names and I don’t have a guidebook, but suffice it to say we saw all the major stuff like the Charles River Bridge, Wenceslas Square, etc. Here are some highlights:

Cathedral

Stained Glass

The local standard for one metre.

The Prague skyline.

After walking around we hopped back in the bus where he showed us more cool things. There was a lot of traffic in the city, so the guide and driver decided that instead of wasting a lot of time sitting in traffic, we would walk some more and meet the bus at another location. We were now travelling off of the planned route, so the guide had to get a little bit creative. He began taking us into all kinds of crazy places to show us the centuries-old architecture that has since been converted into things like banks and department stores and still have amazing gilt ceilings and murals. Unfortunately you can’t take pictures in most of these places, but it was neat. Eventually we met up with the bus where we were driven to a square near the Charles River. We crossed the bridge to the square where there was an open-air market going on along with a band and lots of activity. We asked our guide if he could show us a good place to get real Czech food. We ducked off into a side street and followed him into a door to a small, smokey pub. It was basically an old man bar! It might have been good. In fact, considering that it was absolutely stuffed with people I’m sure it was good, but it was too crowded. He gave us directions to another place and lead us back to the square where after a brief goodbye, he disappeared into the crowd.

We took this opportunity to explore the market. There were a few rows of stalls, but they all seemed to be selling the same overpriced (if you can figure out the conversion) junk. We did pick up some souvenirs for folks back home, though. We also found this interesting fire-roasted pastry called Trdlo which they seem to pitch as being a Czech tradition, but this story is of dubious origins. Either way it’s like a pretzel, but it’s fire-roasted on a cylinder and coated with cinnamon and sugar. It was a tasty snack.

The square seemed to be teeming with American tourists. It seemed like everyone was speaking American English. A guy from New York started a conversation with me and remarked how beautiful the city was and how awesome it was that there were so many Americans around. I didn’t want to be a wet blanket so I agreed, but deep down inside I felt kinda like it was Busch Gardens and not an actual old world city. Did we come all this way to hang out with other Americans in a square where the vendors are selling trinkets at high prices?

After wandering the market a bit longer we set out to find the restaurant that our tour guide had recommended. He indicated that it was a good place to get Czech food, but would be fairly accessible to tourists. The restaurant was called Kolkovna and for all we know it could basically be the Czech version of TGI Friday’s, but it certainly fit the bill of offering ribsticking Czech food but accessible to tourists with translated menus and the like. We enjoyed our meals. Unfortunately I didn’t write what I ate in my notes. Had some tasty beers, too.

After dinner it was getting dark. X, Kate and I still did not feel all that comfortable about the environment and decided to make our way back to the hotel. Mary and Mike decided to press on for a few more hours. I guess all of their time spent wandering NYC in the wee hours during Mary’s college days makes them a little bolder about that kind of thing

Back at the hotel we decided to arrange for our transportation back to the station. We told the woman at the Reception desk our story about the taxis and how it took 20 Euro to get there. She seemed to think we had definitely been screwed. She said she would call and have a van pick us up, picked up the phone and gave us some confirmation information. And a price. You want to know how much? 20 Euro! Who is ripping who off here? Maybe the going rate for that trip really is 20 Euro? The bonus is that this would be a van so really the trip would be half the price in total. Score.

We then relaxed in the room a bit. The Eurosport network was showing the Men’s World Curling Championships. It’s a bit absurd that I could see this event in the Czech Republic but I would not have been able to watch in the US! We also wandered up to the business center in the hotel to play on the Internet. I chatted with Lee for a little while.

When Mike and Mary returned safely, we went down to the restaurant for some desert and drink and then we thought we’d check out the casino in the hotel. Why not? I’ll tell you why not. It was whacky. When we got there, a woman at the front desk asked if we were hotel guests. She then told the girls they could go into the casino, but she would need to see the guys’ passports. The girls went inside. Mike handed her is passport and she began writing down some information. Before she was finished, suddenly a TON of guys came in. Like 20 people. All speaking Czech or another Slavic language. They were pushy and rude. They came in and began throwing their passports at the woman. Instead of trying to serve the people in order (in other words clearing Mike and I first!), she took one of their passports. It then occurred to me that the reason they were bumping and jostling was because they were actually pickpockets. I decided I had had enough of this nonsense. Around this time the girls, wondering what was taking so long, came back out into the lobby. I signaled to them and told Mike I was getting out of there and made for the door. No casino that night. I didn’t need to spend the money anyway! The girls said it was pretty small and not that impressive anyway.

At this point, we had been up for quite a long time and we also had a fairly early train back the next day so it seemed like a good time to call it a night, and so we did.

Here are the rest of the pictures from Prague:

Do I seem kinda down on Prague? Well, I AM down on Prague! I actually felt homesick for our awesome little apartment in Berlin. You see, we had heard a lot of great things about Prague up to and including it being the best city in Europe. It’s really cheap. It’s really beautiful. It’s really pristine and unmodernized. Those last two things are quite true. But it’s not cheap. Not by a long shot. I think the people we talked to haven’t been to Prague in the last few years. Food was expensive. Beer was expensive. It seemed very touristy to me. So many things seem to be set up just to exploit the tourists. I constantly felt like I was asking myself “Is this person trying to screw me?” It was in many ways like being in Cancun, minus the ocean and in another language. And that language is really challenging - there are very few cognates and the words *look* like you shoudl be able to read and understand them but there’s just no way. Maybe it’s better suited towards a different type of tourist, but even Mike and Mary who are more exploratory were not overly impressed. Of London, Berlin and Prague, Prague is my least favorite by a long shot.

There are some great things about Prague - the beer, the castle, the cathedrals. It is beautiful and picturesque. When you close your eyes and picture the quintessential old world city in your mind, you think of narrow, winding cobblestone streets. Stone buildings with terracotta roofs. Squares and plazas with fountains. Elegant gardens. Historic Prague is that image come to life right out of your imagination. Should you skip going there if you have a chance? Definitely not. Should you go out of your way to get there? I don’t think so. In retrospect, I think I would have preferred to have more time in Berlin or a stop in Leipzig, Lubeck or the Harz Mountains.

To see all of the pics from the trip, head on over to the Gallery!